Some months ago, my brain decided to
reboot. I experienced a brain stroke. “Nothing” was damaged, no cause found, my
body declared perfectly healthy. Although everything was apparently the same, my
brain on reboot was about to develop a new version of itself. I was quite satisfied
with the brain I used to have. I did not want a new version, but maybe I needed
I will share some of many lessons I have learned during these last few months of my recovery.
LOVE & CARE – the more you give, the more you have
I was very grateful to be at the hospital, receiving good professional care. But I hated being a patient, being weak, dependent and out of control. I realized how tricky skill the empathy was, both to give and to receive. As a patient you are always right. Your instincts take over and you just know what your really need.
I am sure that my medication was effective. But what made the biggest impact on my recovery was love & care I was surrounded with: my loved ones visiting me every day, countless messages, phone calls, thoughts and wishes from friends, colleagues, acquaintances. It made me strong from within.
ONE STEP AT THE TIME
I used to be the master of multitasking. It gave me a rush and a false feeling of control. Newest research shows that multitasking is stressful, exhausting and, unproductive!?
Abruptly, I could not do the very simple daily chores. Driving was forbidden. Making dinner was too advanced. Taking shower was exhausting.
My multiple to do lists, projects and initiatives were replaced with a simple need – just to rest. Tempo, effectiveness and multitasking became focus, simplicity and patience.
PASSION IS MY FREEDOM
One of my strong sides was to quickly move on, but not necessarily let go. Anger used to be my driving force. This time, I could not just move on, I had to stay and let it be. I suddenly had plenty of time to walk, to read, to rest and eat late breakfast while watching Netflix. One of my love ones said:” Only good things came out of this. You laugh more and do more things.” I did so much less than before, but I did what was important.
Fortunately, I am now able to do only what I really want and what I really must. I am not in a rush to move on, but I can let it go. What a freedom!
I am still taking baby steps towards
full recovery. I do not know the final result of my brain upgrade, but I do
like the changes so far. Less is so much more in many ways.
OSLO, April 2019